I'm officially announcing that the Under Armour Performance Center no longer has an Owings Mills address.
It is now located in Smithsburg, Md.
This is because we are swimming with Smiths. With the addition of wide receiver Steve Smith Sr. and re-signing of linebacker Daryl Smith, the Ravens have four Smiths on the roster.
There's Steve Smith Sr., Daryl Smith, Jimmy Smith and Torrey Smith.
That's a lot of traditional English names.
The Ravens have the most Smiths in the NFL. The Seattle Seahawks and Buffalo Bills are the closest with three each. The Seahawks' Smith is the reigning Super Bowl MVP, linebacker Malcolm Smith. So he's got bragging rights at the Smith family table right now.
Two of the Ravens' Smiths even have the same names. Torrey and Jimmy are actually James Smith. Torrey goes by his middle name while Jimmy is a common variation from James. They found this out the day after they got drafted.
So back to this being the new Smithsburg. Now, I know what all of you Maryland geography buffs are thinking. There's already a Smithsburg, Md., and I can't just rip off their town name.
Yeah, it's a town with a population right around 3,000 in northern Maryland, just east of Hagerstown. But I've got that covered.
I called up the good mayor of Smithsburg for the past 16 years, Mildred "Mickey" Myers, and asked for her OK to become the new Smithsburg. I mean her town dates back to 1814, so it's had a good run.
"This is a satire, right?" she asked.
Yes, I assured her, we weren't actually becoming the new Smithsburg.
"Well, then I think that's fine," she said. "I don't have a problem with it. I think it's kind of neat to be associated with the Ravens, unless you're not a Ravens fan. A lot of the people I know here in Smithsburg are. We do love football. We even have our own high school team."
Her town of Smithsburg also has a lot of Smiths, just like our roster.
"I've never really checked the phone book, but there are a ton of Smiths here," she said. "I have a grandson-in-law that's a Smith. I have a lot of friends that are Smiths."
Smithsburg even has a Steve Smith. He's a retired man in his 60s or 70s.
"He's a very nice gentleman," Mickey said. "I don't know if he's a football fan or not."
Eh, good enough. He can join the band …
